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Worst Knicks Players of All Time

There are so many tasks in our lives that are considered hard like giving birth, reading a book blindfolded, for my sake any part of my golf game. However, there is one task that makes the rest of these seem like a walk in the park that task is being a loyal optimistic Knicks Fan. The amount of disappointment and anxiety this team gives me has prepared me for literally any negative thing in my life and this team has taught me to always expect the worse. Being that the team is worse than my chances of a girl actually having physical attraction to me, there are definitely certain players that make me throw up in my mouth and want to go quarantine in a prison. That being said I decided to compile a list of the top 10 Knicks players that truly make me want to stick a fork in an outlet and call it a day.

10. Lou Amundson

I really don’t need to speak that much about this guy. Literally no one knew or knows who he is, he was an atrocious basketball player for the Knicks which made him fit right in with the rest of the team, and was overpaid like the rest of them. Thankfully he was not that overpaid but for what he did for the blue and orange he robbed a famous sport organization and got away with it. $980,000 I’m cool with however, I’m definitely not on board with $1.7 million that is outrageous. You would think with a contract like that he would perform like an NBA player and not a WNBA player. This excuse of a roster spot averaged 6 points… on 20.9 minutes per game. But hold on it gets better, he averaged 1.8 points in his 7 minutes per game in his last season in the NBA. Not much more needs to be said besides that this man’s name will only come up when you need to sign a bunch of minimum contracts in 2k after balling out on singing some studs.

9. Channing Frye

Now this disappointment of a Knickerbocker isn’t as bad as the others on the list. The Knicks took Frye with the 8thpick in the draft and there weren’t too many good players left to be taken in a subpar draft class, however, they really took this man over Andrew Bynum. Andrew Bynum declared for the draft after his senior year in high school. Although, many people could debate that yes Frye probably was a safer pick than Bynum, Bynum declared out of high school for a fucking reason the guy is a freak of nature that could’ve been molded into something great. I know for a fact that people are going to look up Frye’s Statistics from his rookie year and be like, “hey big nose, Frye’s stats were 10x better than Bynum’s the first year”. Hear me out fuckface, you can’t tell me that Frye was a better pick because he legit got more than double the amount of playing time that Bynum did and it was the second most amount of points he averaged in his career. Bynum on the other hand turned out to be supremely better and went to get his two icy rings with Mr. Bryant but Dickhead Dolan wanted to go in a different direction.

8. Jared Jeffries

It really hurts to put a fellow Hoosier on this list it does… but what he did for the team I’m not going to let that slide. His first year on the Knicks, can’t really complain, he did not play that bad. Second year, not bad he put up what I would like to call “hand job stats”. Hand job stats means stats that are ok but its not what you really want and you know you could do better. Third year man was balling and even when he came back to New York for his second run as a Knick. Now when he came back to the Knicks from 2010 to 2012 is a different story. I have never seen worse basketball played by a human being in a Knicks uniform. If his career with the Knicks ended on his first go around with the team he would not be on this list, however the man played so bad on his second stint with the team that he was a lock for this list. You can argue that yes, he is a big man he does not need to score that many points as long as he contributes defensively. He averaged 3.4 and 3.9 rebounds in those two years and 4.4 and 2.0 points per game. Ok so he wasn’t great I’m sure he wasn’t paid that much right? To say that I wish he wasn’t paid that much would be an understatement. HE WAS GETTING PAID 6 MILLION DOLLARS TO PLAY. For dumb ways to spend money, this is right above burning the 6 million dollars on the list. 6 million dollars for this horrific big man take the court in such a historic uniform is a disgrace to James Naismith himself.

7. Phil Jackson

Its really hard to find bad stuff to say about this man, hell he seems like a really cool dude I would love to grab a beer with the Zen Master. He reminds me of some of my druggy friends and seems like personality that allows for winning in a basketball organization. That being said that is exactly what happened… with every other team he was on except for the Knicks. This is completely different from when he was a player though man clutched when he was on both championship teams mad respect for that homie. The soul reason Phil is on this list is from what he did as a suit responsible for the trades, picks, and contracts signed under his name. Let’s run through the history of Phil Jackson as head of basketball operations. Phil was hired and his first order of business was to fire Mike Woodson and get Derek Fisher on board which was understanble, no problem yet. Then he goes and trades Tyson Chandler for garbage, yes, I was pretty mad about this but its not so bad yet let’s keep going. His next big action is keeping Melo in town for 5 years for 124 million dollars. Although I respect the hell out of what Melo has done for New York, he was not anywhere close to that value in terms of a contract. Now this was what really threw me over the edge. He got rid of JR Smith and Iman Shumpert for picks Lance Thomas and who else but Lou Amundson. He then continued to make a bunch of bullshit signings that no one care about but there is one reason he is in the middle of the list. His drama when it comes to treating his superstars in Porzingis and Melo. Really bro? Threatening to trade them because they’re either hurt or their teammates can’t buy a basket. Also, shouldn’t have been forcing Melo and Porzingis to run the fucking triangle. Phil talked about how he wondered why the Triangle worked in Chicago and not New York. Oh, geez Phil maybe your stupid offense worked in Chicago because you had Michael Fucking Jordan but I don’t know man I’m just a sport management major. For real bro if you were smart, you’d come to New York wearing a disguise.

6. Ronny Turiaf

Ronny Turiaf makes a dude feel sick to his stomach when talking about how bad some of the role players really were. He was getting paid 4 million dollars for what it he calls playing basketball. Ronny Turiaf averaged 17.8 minutes per game with 4.2 points per game and 3.2 boards per game. These are some of the worst stats I have seen for a big man on New York in a long time. Even though they made the playoffs that year, he seemed to be more of a hype man than an actual player. Enjoy being a bar mitzvah dancer schmuck.

5. Kevin Knox

The reason Knox is on this list and in the middle of it is because he has had plenty of time and opportunities to prove that he is something special but just hasn’t. 9th pick in the draft isn’t very early but definitely isn’t late so there was room to have expectations for this guy. His rookie year he averaged close to 13 points per game (12.8) the catch being that he averaged 28.8 minutes per game to go with that and the 37 percent from the field shooting. Not too bad right, yea no because it only gets much worse from there. This season or whatever the fuck you want to call it he averaged 6.4 on a 17.9 minutes per game. The mediocrity of this fucking guy is unbelievable. It is very understandable that all the studs were already taken but to take this guy over some of the other studs has this to be the potentially biggest L in Knicks history. Lets just pick Knox over Miles Bridges and Michael Porter who were arguably the best players in college basketball at the time. With that 9th pick I would’ve even been fine with Jalen Brunson but no they had to take the player that I call “The Walking L”.

4. Jordan Hill

I don’t doubt that some crackhead is sitting in his basement shouting at the computer that this is not number 1. Obviously picking Jordan Hill instead of Demar DeRozan, Jrue Holiday, Ty Lawson, and the list goes on is a major L for the franchise. Oh, and there’s one significant player I forgot to mention who went the pick before Hill his name is Stephen Curry. The fact that the Knicks didn’t end up with Curry makes me wish Covid wiped out society. The amount of potential Curry had at the time ran laps around Jordan Hill but the Knicks did what they do best and shit the bed as usual. Hill averaged 4.0 and 6.4 points per game on 10.5 and 16.2 minutes per game which is pathetic. Curry on the other hand, hold up bro go look up Curry’s stats because if you think he’s actually comparable to Hill don’t read my shit bro.

3.Eddy Curry

Eddy Curry was as useless as the 2k you wanted to return to GameStop for 2 reasons those being his contract that was the 8th wonder of the world at the time and his subpar stats that just did not match his contract. I’ll give him that he averaged 19.5 points per game but that same season he averaged 35 minutes per game which seems kind of absurd. The previous years he did not put up that many points nor rebounds and his minutes per game were not that far off. As for this contract I talk about he was getting paid around 8-9 million dollars per year for 5 years. Imagine how many good deeds could have been done with all this money to watch a nincompoop play horrible basketball.

2.Andrea Bargani

I really hate remembering this guy as a Knicks fan this guy has really taught me what pain and suffering as a Knicks fan looks like. Really wished someone sent him back to Italy at the time but thank god his basketball days are over. At the time this trade seemed great we got rid of Quentin Richardson and Marcus Camby they were old as hell. Getting rid of Steve Novak was a punch to the gut but we could make it through that. However, getting rid of the first-round pick was crossing the line. The guy missed more than half the season and averaged 12.7 points per game on 28.7 minutes per game, not to forget about him being a big man he averaged 3.7 rebounds per game. To add salt to the wound they were paying this guy 11 fucking million dollars a year for 2 years. As the late great Billie Mays says, “wait there’s more!”, that pick the raptors got from the Knicks was the 9th pick in the draft. Thinking about this man gives me nightmares and I really wish to never speak about this excuse of a man ever again.

1.Joakim Noah

Hearing this man’s name makes me want to get Fortnite dance off a cliff and rethink all of my life choices. Words cannot describe how much I hate the man with the stupid ass ugly ass name ass ponytail looking ass crooked teeth ass as long as he’ll live ass bucked tooth bitch that is Joakim Noah. He averaged around 21 to 22 minutes per game in the two season and by two seasons I mean the 53 games he played. Must have had some good stats from those minutes, right? 5 points per game in the first season and 1.7 in the second. He’s a big man he probably contributed with rebounds, instead right? First season he got us 8.8 rebounds per game which is probably off all his own missed jump shots and the second season he got 2 per game. You’re probably wondering what does a player who should be playing wheel chair basketball but somehow made it to the pros gets payed like. Imagine playing barely half of a season in combined games but getting paid in three season what some players get over their whole career. 17 million, 17.7 million, and 18 million dollars. Those first two numbers are what he actually made from those horrendous seasons of what he calls playing professionally and the 18 million was paid when they cut his trash ass. I really cannot say anything good about this man ‘m period. This article really makes m super upset about the team that I’m most passionate about, so with that being said, I’m going to go cry in my basement until the draft.


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