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  • Oliver Pine

Stonks: MTCH

Updated: Jun 14, 2020

Despite sounding (and kind of looking) like a 14-year-old boy who just killed his first beer, I’m going to be writing some real intelligent shit today. By now, I can guarantee you’ve all blown through your stimulus checks on stupid shit. I get it, but losing those 2 mini-spots in an illadelph waffle wasn’t worth it, dumbass.

Now you guys are short on cash and need a (legal) way to make a quick buck without putting in any real work. That’s where I come in.

I love you Davey Day Trader, I really do. But I’m about to spit some real shit right here.

**Legal disclaimer: I am in no way qualified to give financial advice, so if you wanna do stupid shit with your money that’s on you pal**

Today, I’m gonna be pitching a company that all you horny fucks who aren’t getting any in the Q already know plenty about: Tinder.

Match Group, traded on all exchanges as MTCH, is the parent company for all of the dating apps that you, and even your single Aunt Linda are on. With a crazy big portfolio containing Hinge, Match, PlentyOfFish, Eureka, and of course Tinder, MTCH has pretty much every demographic covered; from your typical frat boy tracking down slam pieces, to your middle-aged high school English teacher. It is within these multiple subsidiaries that I see a large catalyst for revenue growth.

I could sit here and talk about P/E ratios, their IAC spin-off, or even potential for monetization in Asia but I’m gonna go over 300 words and then my editor will be pissed. With that, buy MTCH.

Big Truss,

Oliver Pine

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