FUCK the Gap

Let me ask you a question. When was the last time that you walked into a Gap store? No, I have a better question. When was the last time you have even seen a Gap store that wasn’t in a mall? Exactly. Never. Retail shopping is more fucking dead than the Jazz chemistry after Rudy Gobert spread corona to the world. Gap went from a 0.58 EPS to a -2.51 EPS in a singular fucking quarter. Gap generated 4.6 billion dollars in revenue last year, an all-time low. Of course COVID-19 is to blame, but at the same time, people would much rather buy their shit on Amazon or online than go to an actual store. It is evident that Gap is going under. On November 17, 2019, the CEO of Gap stepped down, with the announcement that Old Navy would become a spin-off, publicly traded company. There is definitely some inner turmoil within the company. It also turned out that this spin-off didn’t really happen because of the “cost and complexity” of the matter. Then, the new CEO put in place in the middle of the quarantine, made the blockbuster deal of signing Kanye West, along with his Yeezy shoe line. The stock shot up to 36% at one point, but then settled down at 12.07. Don’t get me wrong, I fuck with Yeezys more than anyone else. I mean Kanye is quite literally the song-bird of our generation. From a sales standpoint, it was a great signing. Yeezys obtained 1.3 billion dollars in revenue. The logistics of the deal was not released, besides the fact that the deal lasted for 10 FUCKING YEARS WITH A 5 YEAR OPTION. The new CEO saw that there was only one thing that could save them from the inevitable futures of both JCPenney and Macy’s, to sign Yeezus himself. The only reason that it went up so high is because idiots like you and me see Kanye signing with Gap and say, “oH kAnYe wEst iS sIgnIng WiTh yEEzY, fUlL sEnD!” and leverage the fuck out of Robinhood. This is what I think, put the shit out of Gap. Set it to September going down to 9 points. This shit is going under very soon.

As Gordan Gecko once said, “the most valuable commodity is information,” so with the information I am giving you, put the shit out of the Gap.