• Oliver Pine

Dear Future Son or Daughter

Because its fathers day, and hopefully one day I have a kid (but since closing is not easy for me),who knows when that will happen. Here's a time capsule letter I'd want to write to my future kid with my smoking hot model wife. Realistically, she'll end up being a JAP from Long Island, but hey Im having fun here. Honestly, I'd prefer a son because I have seen the shit that my parents put up with for my sister and I am not trying to deal with that.


Anyway here's what I want my future son or daughter to know.

  1. When you are in a bar, don't butt bump a girl/guy. It doesn't go well. (also if she/he doesn't turn around after 45 minutes, walk away. Just walk away).

  2. Play sports but you are not going pro, so have fun with it.

  3. YOUR first GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND will not be the love of your life.

  4. Shoot your shot (worst case scenario you get left on read and she/he tells his/her mom).

  5. Have fun in life, do stupid shit. Try all the drugs you want (but not crack and meth or you'll be banished from the house).

  6. Don't be afraid of rejection, it is what makes you better.

  7. Don't listen to your Uncle Dylan. He might say he is the "Funcle", but when you see him blow your whistle.

  8. Take advantage of your family members, they will always be there for you and get to know each and everyone of them before its too late.

  9. You are going to have the best Nana in the world, let her be involved in your life or I wont hear the end of it.

  10. Live life to the fullest, enjoy every moment. And remember, "Whatever you do in this life, it's not legendary, unless your friends are there to see it"-Barney Stinson.


Happy Fathers Day from all of us at 4th and 20 Media. Go play a round of golf with your fathers and be his bitch for the day.

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